I’ve always known that I was different from the other girls at school. First of all, my upbringing, while stationed in the States, wasn’t at all American. As my mother is European, I was raised as though I were European.
Making my interactions outside of the home sometimes feel odd.
For instance, we didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving.
Little did I realize, but all of that was what made me who I was then and who I am now.
As I continued to blossom into an adult, I began to realize that I was working against myself, in my head. While I ate whatever I wanted when the mood struck, I felt as though I wasn’t living up to the stereotypical image of what an American, or even someone living in California, should look like.
But even after shifting my life’s direction and building a deeply satisfying, intentional life here in Normandy, that instinct to measure myself against others didn’t immediately vanish.
Instead of measuring myself against celebrities, I started measuring myself against my feed:
- The friend who launched a massive, successful business while I was still trying to perfect a candle scent.
- The designer whose home was styled to magazine perfection while I was still sanding an antique bench.
- The writer whose words went viral while I was meticulously drafting a single, simple recipe post.
This journey has been both exhausting and rewarding, as I learned to deconstruct the way society felt I “should” be. Comparing myself to others, friends of celebrities was robbing me of my own unique spark, while crushing my soul. Comparison is truly the thief of joy because it steals your ability to appreciate the beautiful, quiet life you are building.
The biggest secret I discovered in slowing down is that to stop the comparison game, you must first destroy the external influences and stereotypes.
Steps I took to Stop Comparing Myself Against Others
The French Antidote: Changing the Metrics
The simple, unhurried rhythm of life here in the French countryside has a wonderful way of silencing that measuring tape. Why? Because the metrics for comparison simply do not exist here. You can’t compare the quality of your antique hemp linen to someone else’s massive career promotion. They are non-comparable truths.
The shift isn’t about isolating yourself; it’s about choosing internal metrics that only you can define.
Here are the three simple, powerful shifts I made to finally stop measuring my life against everyone else’s highlight reel.
1. Change the Rules: Measure Satisfaction, Not Speed
In the outside world, success is measured by speed, scale, and dollars. In slow living, success is measured by satisfaction, peace, and quality.
- The Old Metric: “I should have published ten blog posts this month.”
- The New Metric: “Did the one blog post I published (like the Linge Ancien piece) feel authentic, high-quality, and deeply satisfying to create?”
When you focus on the quality of the small, intentional moment—the fragrance of the pumpkin bread, the smooth feel of the linen, the warmth of the infusion—you find a satisfaction that cannot be taken away or compared to a colleague’s salary.
2. Embrace the Season: Trust Your Unique Timeline
When you look at someone else’s success, you often feel “behind.” But just like the earth, your life is moving through its own unique seasons.
Right now, I might be in my Autumn Season: a time of quiet harvest, preparation, and slowing down after the initial sprint. A friend might be in their Spring Season: bursting with new growth, energy, and massive new launches.
- The Trap: Criticizing your quiet Autumn for not looking like their loud Spring.
- The Freedom: Accepting that your current season requires deep work, rest, and nurturing the foundations (like your email list and core content).
Trust that the things you are cultivating now—your writing voice, your authenticity, your peace—will yield an abundant harvest when your Spring finally arrives.
3. Look Inward, Not Outward
Social media and comparison are inherently about looking out at the vast, noisy world. To truly stop measuring, you must train your eyes to look down at the tiny, beautiful details right in front of you.
This is the most practical solution that Normandy gifted me.
- Look Out: “That influencer’s perfect kitchen is better than mine.”
- Look Down: Focus on the perfect, deeply flawed and unique piece of antique crockery you found at the brocante. Focus on the simple, clean lines of your own table, set just for you.
The minute your focus moves from the fleeting, distant metric to the tangible, authentic beauty you created with your own hands, the competition loses its power. You become the sole author and evaluator of your own joy.
Redefining Your Success
The beautiful truth is that the life you are building—the one focused on authenticity, simple beauty, and intentional pause—is the very definition of a life worth celebrating. It doesn’t need a marquee light or a critic’s approval.
Your success is no longer measured by how you stack up against others, but by the quiet, resolute peace you feel when you finally sit down with a hot cup of tea and your freshly baked apple crumble.
Until next time,
Christina
